All photos taken be meeeeeeeeeee!
So I just returned from a trip to Jamaica after a friend offered me a last-minute opportunity to go. Now it’s not every day you get blessed with a trip to the Caribbean – in fact, that is never my portion. So by the time the sixth or seventh person said to me you better go, I put aside my mummy guilt, switched on my out of office and got ready to spend nice days with no responsibilities and plenty of possibilities.
We stayed at The Holiday Inn in Montego Bay which was nice but much to my friend’s disappointment didn’t give me a taste of her authentic version of Jamaica but as a novice I was grateful to see the lush greenery, the huge ocean and to eat three square meals without cooking it or opening the Uber app.
Jamaica’s not a country I’d even wanted to go to but came at a time where I was recovering from the first nine months of 2023. As someone described it to me recently, this year has been particularly difficult for some businesses simply because of austerity and us acclimatising to life post the pandemic. I needed a break from always putting myself in the position of ‘fixer’.
I’m an African child, my home country Sierra Leone is a part of the commonwealth and when you’ve watched a parent do all they can to bring you to “the mother country” so you can be more and do more it’s easy to get wrapped up in the idea that this is it, this is the goal. However, Jamaica made me come to a realisation that my goal isn’t necessarily an extension of my mother’s.
Jamaica ignited me.
Jamaica showed me the promise of a different life. One that was slower paced but productive. Not easy but not doused in struggle either. It reminded me that it’s so easy to forget there is a world beyond the bubble you place yourself in. It was an opportunity to really think about what I wanted to do next or at least give me the freedom to put down all I didn’t even notice I’d been carrying, to give myself the headspace to even think about what I wanted to do next.
Jamaica made me acknowledge that some of my dreams are no longer the same. I no longer want to have a big agency managing tens of people. With people come challenges and responsibilities. It is pressurised enough to know that I contribute to the livelihoods of my existing team let alone adding numerous more to the mix.
Jamaica fulfilled a moment for me in a way. I lost my aunt on my birthday this year and ever since she’s made her presence felt through numbers and a song which has been a major comfort. It was everything to be sitting alone in the early hours of the morning in the hotel’s lobby and to hear her favourite song and the numbers come up simultaneously. My dream had always been to get her and her siblings together in the Caribbean but it wasn’t to be. Having her there made me feel assured that I have my ancestors with me.
The trip also accelerated my desire to leave the UK and access a work life balance or maybe experience is a better word that isn’t readily available here. So now I am actively planning my leave. 2026 is the year I’ll be out of here if nothing takes me sooner. Having children doesn’t make it easy to pick up and leave so planning requires a little more thought. So I’ll be scoping new locations cover the next couple of months.
It was also a reminder that I want ro write. It’s something I have done my entire life. Think less fiction – though I did dream about the storyline for a dallas style show set in a media company a few nights ago – and more social commentary.
I need to cultivate my relationships more. I’ve been so absorbed with work that only my core few have really seen me.
Jamaica was a release for me. A chance to be self-full. A chance to reset even just a little. To be reminded that there is a wider world out there and I want to be part of it.
A special thank you to my loved one for giving me such a gift.
